If you choose to fail us, we will never forgive you.

State officials identified the suppression of hugs as a long term health hazard. Therefore various institutions issued instruction manuals for the creation of Hug-Airbags. In instances of running towards each other spreading arms, winglike ready to embrace, the hug airbag inflates allowing for a safe encounter.

A labyrinth of lines in cryptic plans, a secret language of its own. Tiny models, fake trees and people dependent on skilled minds to imagine walls overgrown by shrubs of rules and regulations. Seemingly impossible to overcome. And then 39 letters. Thirty-nine letters to help make all the difference — the start of a quest.

‘In outer space, you develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, International politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, “ LOOK AT THAT, YOU SON OF A BITCH”.’ Astronaut Edgar Mitchell famously stated.

Sounds fair – we thought. And did it.

On this Wednesday in the darkness of Nordic winters, the small green kiosk at Mosebacke is defying the ice-cold winds. From a safe distance, you see a red glow decent from shaded windows and the cracks in the dark green building. Candles and Cats with golden pows appear on the cold metal bar arrangement. “Maybe Chinese food” the lady mumbles and tightens her scarf struggling onward against the storm missing out on the opportunity of her lifetime.

“Don’t forget to lie” he whispered watching her pencilling her name and occupation in capital letters on the conference tag. 

Enough of “No you can’t,” or “You shouldn’t” and  “maybe tomorrow.” Seriously? Of people saying “Maybe that’s good enough” leaving potential on the doorstep to die alone. Seriously?! I was done with “it’s ok” – this evil mistress of indifference. Sometimes anything is better than nothing. Seriously! Anything to ease the pain, to get started, even to be wrong that can be rightened – anything really. Doesn’t have to be real. Maybe just fake it – nobody will notice. Seriously.

“Who are you today?” The space blanket is sizzling, distorting the mirrored surfaces of its surrounding. “Name, Surname, Desired Occupation”. It’s simple really.

I looked up from my desk as an old wrinkled hand passes on an order form. She is famous, they say. Big career in fashion, Paris, New York. Her ‘Desired Occupation: Baker’. After pick up she slowly takes some steps towards the door looking down at the small paper square in her hand. “If I had the guts to start all over – this would be it” she whispers.

The compound is alive and lush with green growth. The building also seems to be breathing. Passing through the entrance feels like squeezing through an invisible membrane. Once through a great light filters in from the outside that seems almost brighter than natural, and you are overcome with a deep sense of calm. Electric vibrations begin to pass through your body, not as an explicit physical sensation but more as if having been plugged into a frequency that is emitting a deep energy into the pit of your belly. You take another deep breath, the surroundings exhale with you. A soothing voice from behind a reception terminal indicates for you and your companion to take a seat. One of the care staff will be with you shortly.  You can tell that your companion is tense, but looking at them you get the feeling that they are grateful for your presence, even if they haven’t been so explicit about it. Given the nature of the facility, it is easy to understand why it is so difficult to foster any pleasant feelings at all.

Right in front of you behind your back. When Hollywood stars you knew just retired or died and the ones taking Oscars home were born in the late 90s. The time when the songs you love are called “Indie classics” on a Spotify playlist. A time when you give up on six-bed dorms and decide from now on its maximum 4 beds for adventures. There is this moment when you realise some years may have past. That’s ageing. Right in front of you behind your back.